Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Equality of Women?

So today has been a good day! I have got meet and greet Jessie J tickets for her tour NEXT MARCH…yes that’s 2013, it’s a while off but it will be worth the wait I am sure! To say I am excited would be an understatement. I never get into the whole pop star thing (apart from Hanson and The Spice Girls!!) but I have a lot to thank Jessie’s music for. I was suffering from really bad PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and it was just horrific on a day-to-day basis. When I started to listen to Jessie’s album I would cry and cry and cry. I released emotions that I had been bottling up for like a year! Her songs actually stopped me from having flashbacks so as you can imagine I am very grateful!!

In other news my article went live just under a week a go and I have been amazed at the positive responses I have received. I was so scared that the article would be bad as writing has never been my strong point but it appears no one has noticed! The joy of people reading my article and it resonating with them soon turns to sadness as I read some of the comments and emails. I am so happy that people are finding some small comfort in my writing but also so sad that they have too. I always knew it wasn’t spoken about amongst people but I am quickly realising just how common it is.

How many people do you know who have been raped? 1? 2? None?! How many people do we meet in one day? In a month? In a year? How many of those people would have been raped or sexually abused. Take 20 of your friends. 1 in 20 women have been raped. Take a look at those 20 friends again.  We are all much closer to rape than we realise and it terrifies me to think how many people are walking around with that secret inside of them.

The other shocking theme that seems to be running through the emails I am getting, is how it is the victims nearest and dearest that aren’t able to deal with rape. How they are unable to open themselves up emotionally or in some cases friends are actually ignoring them because of this awful event.  The fact that loved ones and really caring, honest and loyal friends are disassociating themselves from the victim is baffling to me. I understand that it is a very uncomfortable subject. It is also very painful to have a friend suffer in such a way that you are completely powerless to prevent. Before I was raped I supported a good friend through her recovery. I did not feel uncomfortable and was able to be there for her as best I could although I did not understand anything about it at that time. So, I am at a loss to understand why victims are losing friends. I wonder if it should not be viewed as an individual’s uncertainty of what to say in the situation, but as a deep routed issue in society. Does society have a bigger secret it is not telling us? Do we need to look past the act of rape and into the relationship between men and women? I am beginning to think that this could be helpful.

Before women burnt their bras and went to work they were very much seen as the lower gender.  Men were dominant and women were obedient. Women were suppressed in most aspects of their lives and were not heard and most of the time their feelings were not considered. Sound familiar??? I am purely thinking out loud here. It does make sense that although lots of people say they are not scared of rape they are potentially scared that rape of the reality of women not being as equal as men?! Has society really moved on as much as we would like to think?! I shall ponder…….

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